Restructuring My Life (Personal Update)

Friends, I have been struggling lately - and by lately, I mean about a year, but its been increasing over the last few months. I'm bored, extremely lonely for Dean, and poor. I feel generally unmotivated - despite my best efforts, I can't seem to focus on anything but Orange is the New Black. Click through for a general update.


Last August I quit my cooking job. Well, not quite quit so much as took a 3 month leave to go to Australia, and never went back. After more than four years with the company, I had had enough of being mistreated. My managers were verbally abusive and turned a blind eye to every problem, either with business matters and employees. I swept it under the rug because, hey, I was getting paid and working with my two best friends. Management crossed the line after I had an incident with another employee - it started as a few uncomfortable comments, moved on to physical sexual harassment, and then he started stalking me. The more serious the situation became, the more management laughed my problem off. Every day I went to work, I was called a whore, told it was my own fault for multiple reasons, and then eventually they cut my pay. It was so degrading and humiliating - as if my 10 hour days in a hot, greasy kitchen with under trained and uncooperative coworkers weren't bad enough. Walking out of there on my last day was so liberating, even though there are still some lingering issues with that particularly problematic coworker over a year later.

Being unemployed was fun for a while, when I first came home from Aus. I could do as I pleased, go where I wanted, and work harder on the blog. I decided to stay off of work until after Dean left in April, and made sure I had enough saved up to survive off of. I started looking for new jobs about a week after Dean left, and nothing has really come though. I've had a couple interviews, and offers, but none of them really transpired - either the commute wasn't manageable, or they'd just find someone more qualified. I have a (very) part time job, but my savings are running low, so I'm starting to get a bit worried. I can pay my bills, but its frustrating not having the money to help my mum with her expenses, or to save up for my future (moving overseas isn't cheap, friends). Its also made my life quite boring, I rarely have enough money to go out with friends, or treat myself even a little. My splurge is one Frappuccino a month - and believe me I savour that shit when I get it! My lack of pocket money affects the blog as well, its impossible for me to keep up with new product releases. Deano helps me out from time to time, and hes wonderful for doing so, but it makes me feel guilty. I'm still looking for a job, but I'm not feeling particularly hopeful right now.

I've been trying to use my time off wisely by getting swole as fuck, or at least a bit more fit. My old job kept me really active, and without it I've gained a bit of weight, 5-10lbs, nothing major. However, I had a medical problem in May that caused me to gain another couple pounds. I lost them right away, but that really motivated me to tone up a bit. I heard of Blogilates from one of my favorite YouTubers, PBunnieP, so I decided to check it out. I've been following the Beginners Workout Calendar, which is challenging without being too much - though I was super sore for a few days when I first started! I started seeing results very quickly, after just two weeks I noticed myself getting some abs! I didn't expect that, but I'm pleased. So far I've lost 2-3 pounds (I'm looking to drop about 10 total). I highly recommend Blogilates if you want a fairly easy but still impactful workout regimen that's lead by a pleasant and engaging instructor.

Finally, a quick update on wedding planning and immigration. My immigration stuff is coming together slowly but surely - really its just a bunch of little, simple tasks, but there's so many that it feels overwhelming and more complex. I seem to have a good old fashioned case of phone anxiety though - which makes the million calls and appointments I have to make a little more stressful than they need to be. The good news is that our wedding stuff is pretty much fully planned - we have a venue and photographer lined up, both reasonably priced with curated packages, so I don't have to put any real effort into it- exactly what I wanted!

Alright so there's my very long personal update for the time being. I'm trying to keep my head up, but its hard sometimes. At least things are headed in the right direction when it comes to my move. What's up with yinz, are you well? Let me know in the comments?

7 comments

  1. I tried writing this comment 3 times, but my computer is being a butt -__-

    Anywho, I was saying that I hear ya on the job front. It's tough out there. I was looking for a job well before I left my old one back in May. I was there for 5 years, but had to leave to keep my sanity. It's gonna be really hard for me to find a job now because my husband and I found out we're pregnant just a couple weeks ago. I had a phone interview and the lady stopped it when she found out I was pregnant, so that's saying alot right there.

    Keep your chin up, things always get better :)

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    1. Oh congrats =D how exciting. That's pregnancy discrimination tho, so you could probably challenge that if you wanted.

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  2. Sorry you've been having a rough go of it lately! When you're working a lot, it seems like it'd be sooo nice to be off for a while and not work, but the reality is that it sucks, eh? (Been there).
    Congrats on leaving the sucky job though, I've stayed at jobs way too long because I was afraid of changing

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    1. Thank you for the kind words. <3 I totally feel you on that fear of changing jobs.

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  3. That's crazy you had to put up with all that at your work place! What a nut job...I'm excited for you to get to restart in Austrailia! I have a few changes in the progress...I'm going to college in the fall to be an LPN, well it's a trade school but still lol and I'm moving out on my own for the first time, which is exciting and scary at the same time. I'm also trying to be healthier and lose weight too, I'm doing pretty good but I think I'm hitting a plateau (I have a lot of weight to lose) but I'm happy at least with progress in the right direction. I really hope things look up for you soon! It's kinda funny bc it kinda sucks now but you have so much great stuff to look forward too! I think you'll be so much happier in Austrailia <3 oh and phone anxiety sucks! Lol I have some important calls I'm dreading too :p

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    1. Thanks. Good luck on becoming an LPN, my sister in law was one before going on to become a regular RN. I hope you do well in with everything! Good luck with your phone calls. I made three today and did pretty good. :3

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